“September 15,2005 was the most life changing, mind altering, and humbling day of our lives…”
We have so many memories of the countless nights and days that passed. We remember so much like it was just yesterday, the moments when life and time had come to a complete stop. I often refer to a picture of the three of us at the stadium, taken only a few days earlier by his grandma and uncle who had traveled to watch him play soccer, as “Game Over”… How could and did we survive such a horror. We still survive.
Losing those dear and close to us is a part of life’s cycle, and something we will all know as we grow older. We live full, and cherish, and savor our days with family and friends, understanding they can’t last forever; creating beautiful memories to take with us then they are gone. We have time to prepare, and take peace in God’s plan. I doubt though, if anyone is prepared for sudden death. Even less when fate comes through unnatural causes, unexpected events, and even the painful, horrific course, of excruciating tragedy. Tranquility and acceptance can be emotions that are hard to find.
We remember so many surreal revelations, in the immediate tristful days after. So many people came to console, and counsel, and offer their support. And even as they spoke heartfelt words intended to heal with all their God willed souls, we and they both knew, no words could describe. One quote I remember most, and am sure it is often said, was that “They were in a better place, resting with God”. We couldn’t help but to think and say, “He didn’t care how tough and messed up this world was. He loved it here, and wasn’t ready to sleep..” We didn’t understand. We experienced a pain that few could know, and other than our fearful faith in God, we were so very alone.
I remember giving in to sleep, late that Thursday night (Friday AM), needing to give our torn, haggard, very confused minds a rest. After all there was still one hope, that we would awake to the sun; the school bus would be there, the dream would be over, and he would get on it. That bus came and went, and a bad dream was now true. I tried to recall normal life, “where was I last, who had I talked to, and is there somewhere I’m supposed to be? How would I tell the world we needed some grace?” Fortunately, the world already knew, and soon they were there, offering gifts of prayer,comfort, food, and support. At times like these, getting out of bed is monumental, and things so simple as making a sandwich or washing dishes, can seem like a fruitless tedious task. So many folks were there, and they came one after another, to offer condolences, and lovingly help us toil through. They came in countless numbers, at a dizzying and tiring pace. It seemed like we were surrounded, but mercifully we were not alone to torment ourselves with harrowing thoughts. Then when the sun went down, and they tentatively went home to take care of their own, we were able to spend quality time together, on the tailgate of my truck under the full moon. It was Mike and Bonnie and God, together, trying to make plans for a future.
At the most trying time of our lives, we are still thankful for so many things. We do not wish our strife on anyone, but unfortunately now we know, for too many it will come. Our priest explained that our strength, our insight, and our peace, came as a “gift from God”, through unfortunate circumstances. We feel that such a precious gift could only have been given so that it may be shared. We pray that we are up for the task, and we will not have to go at it alone. We ask for your contribution of time, effort, and availability, to help us reach out to others. We need selfless gifts of yourself, to help us spread peace throughout this mysterious world, under the light of Michael’s Moon.
“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Children of God…
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.”